In My Blood
by cherryvanillaaa
Summary: There are some out there that may try to shame me for what I've done - for what I'm doing, but I don't care. I deflect their opinions like I am made of armor. I have gone too far to go back where I was, to who I used to be. I don't want to go back. I barely remember that person I used to be. I pity her. I have healed her. She is me now. Every twisted part of her.
1. Fallout

**Listening to: 'Fallout' ~ Alter Bridge**

 _Had somebody told me a year ago that I'd be where I am right now, I honestly wouldn't have believed them._

 _Would I have hoped? Sure. The prospect of a good change is enough to instill hope within anyone, even if they are already not unhappy with their lives._

 _Some changes are more jarring than others - I'm even more aware of that now. That doesn't make them any less of a blessing; sometimes it might even make them better._

 _There are some out there that may try to shame me for what I've done - for what I'm doing, but I don't care. I deflect their opinions like I am made of armor. I have gone too far to go back where I was, to who I used to be. I don't want to go back. I barely remember that person I used to be. I pity her. I have healed her._

 _She is me now. Every twisted part of her._

 _Who's to say there's anything wrong with twisted, anyways?_

It was getting windier by the minute; a direct result of the storm brewing in the sky. The breeze was cool, contrasting with the warm, dry air. Typical with the season change in Texas in early May, it was going to storm. Something she was very much looking forward to.

A storm in her mind much like the ever-growing one out here, she stood in the middle of the empty stretch or highway. The distance was lighter than the clouds hanging over most of the land, showcasing the beauty of a Texas sunset even amongst the grey of the sky. She had her eyes on it all, taking a deep breath in of the smell of impending rain. It was a scent that made her reminisce about certain moments in her life where everything had been so easy, making her feel both peaceful and somber at the same time.

Things were very different now. She wanted to go back to how it had been.

For now, she tried not to think about that. She tried to live in the moment; to be right here under this big, wide, cloudy sky, waiting for the rain.

The first rumble of thunder breezed in from the distance, and the wind seemed to pick up again with the low sound. She knew she should probably be getting back to her car; standing as the tallest thing on a bare stretch of highway in a storm wasn't smart. Sighing out one of her many breaths of fresh air, she turned and started a slow trek back to the little Honda pulled over on the side of the highway. The only car on the road right now, but even still, distinguishable by the broken windshield with spider-web cracks reaching across the glass. _That_ had been from a half full bottle of moscato being thrown at it. A lovely memoir. It was something she knew she'd have to get fixed at some point, but at the moment, she didn't have the money. Recently, she was also out of a _job_ , as well, so it would have to wait even longer.

In her pocket, her cell buzzed, Eric Church blaring out of the speakers, indicating that someone was calling her. Walking a little faster at another rumble of thunder, this one sounding closer, she pulled it out of her sweatshirt. "Hello?" She pulled her car keys out of her other pocket with her free hand, feeling the first few drops of rain falling onto her bare hands.

"Renee, _bitch_ where _are_ you?!" came a shrill from the other end, the connection crackling from being out in the middle of nowhere.

"I'm-" She yanked the door open just as the sky opened up "-driving, where are you?"

"Waiting for _you, ho_! Get your ass over here!"

While the voice on the other end sounded abusive to someone on the outside, this was actually a form of misguided affection coming from one of her friends. One of her _only_ friends, at this point.

"Kim," she said idly while she was buckling her seatbelt, "I still have another hour."

"No, it's seven, we agreed on seven. That's what I told Tony!"

"Well, that's not what you told me," Renee started the car as the rain pelted down hard, and she prayed her windshield wipers would do a good job of keeping most of the water out of the cracks.

"It is, I _swear_!"

Truly, it wasn't. But Renee knew no matter how much she argued, her friend was not going to agree, even if she was wrong.

"Fine, whatever," She moved her car onto the highway, rain coming down on her hood sounding like a machine gun going off, "I'm on my way now."

"'Kay, Tony just pulled up so we're here waiting!"

Thunder rumbled around her, even through the barrier of the car. "Alright, see you soon."

"Byeeee." Kim squealed in the background, probably cheering the arrival of their mutual friend Tony, before she hung up noisily. Any other time, Renee would've joined in on the joy; she and Kim were the type that could always make each other laugh, could always bring out the best in each other. That was then.

Sighing through her nose, Renee continued to drive carefully down the rainy road. She really didn't know why she had agreed to go tonight; she didn't want to. She wanted to sit and wallow, maybe drown her sorrows in some rum and Coke... not that any of that would help either. The utter emptiness in her heart weighed heavy on her; made her not want to do anything, but also not want to do nothing, either. She'd been a good girl her whole life. What had she done to deserve this?

With a start, she noticed red brake lights in front of her. She'd been cruising right along in the zone, not even paying attention. She stepped on her own brakes, praying the car wouldn't skid across the slick road and end up crashing into the stopped person in front of her. They were just stopped dead in the middle of the highway; Renee figured they were probably having car trouble. Really, she knew nothing about cars other than make and model, but she would've felt bad if she just kept on driving while they were stuck in the rain. Especially with this storm going on.

Pulling her hood up over her head, putting her hazards on, she took a breath and opened her door, stepping out into the wall of rain.

" _Hey_!" she called, not seeing anyone standing outside, but in case they had their window down for whatever reason. There was no visible response. Shutting her own door completely, Renee jogged up to the idling vehicle before her. " _Hello_?" This was the part, she was aware, in most horror movies where she would be kidnapped and taken to some torture dungeon in the middle of nowhere. She was also aware of how little she cared. That aspect frightened her much more than any other factor at the moment. Right now, she was more dangerous to herself than anything else was.

Still, she prepared herself as the other car's driver's side door opened, not knowing what would await her. "I'm alright, it's fine-" Came a male voice with a thick, southern drawl. "Y'all can keep on driving, everything's-" When he stepped out of the car fully, he paused at the sight of her, and she also paused at the sight of him. A big smile crossed his weathered (no pun intended) face, and he had to shout to be heard over the rain pounding on the concrete, "Little NaeNae!"

"Hi, Uncle Hoyt," Renee raised her voice as well, stepping closer to embrace the man in the Sheriff's uniform as another flash of lightning and crash of thunder came from around them. Still standing, fairly close so that they could hear one another, Renee cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, " _Everything okay_?"

Nodding, water coursing off the tip of his hat, Charlie 'Hoyt' Hewitt replied, "Yes darlin', everything's fine, just waitin' out the weather; my old eyes ain't what they used to be!" Another crash of thunder, closer this time, came from the left of them. "Ya best git on home now girl, don't wanna be caught in this shit with all your defenses shot!"

"Sure you don't want a ride?" She pressed. There was no telling how long these things could last; it could end in the next five minutes or the next two hours. She wouldn't want to sit and wait it out, no matter how visually impairing rain this heavy could be.

"Naah, honey it's all good," Hoyt glanced over into the field to his right briefly before turning back to Renee. "You go on, I'll be seein' ya real soon. Mama's gon' be calling ya, we're tryin' to plan a shindig soon as this damn weather lightens up!"

"Sounds great!" Renee answered, taking backward steps towards her idling car on the side of the road. "See you soon!" Hoyt waved cheerfully despite the heaping rain, and they both crawled back into their warm, dry vehicles.

Renee tossed her hood back off her head, noting that it hadn't done anything to keep her hair dry in this weather. When it rained this hard, it practically seeped into one's bones. If she'd had a bar of soap, she could've just showered out there! Turning off her hazards, she slowly maneuvered around what she could now tell was Hoyt's police cruiser, and onto the road once again. She honked her horn twice in passing, her car crawling on down the road back towards the small town she called home. She went at practically a snail's pace for her own safety, glancing back in the rearview mirror to look at Uncle Hoyt's car still parked on the road. His lights shone bright through the pouring rain, even as she drove away.

In the distance, she saw a large, dark mass coming from the field to the right of the road, lumbering towards the parked police vehicle. _Tommy_. Not wanting to let them see that she was stopping, she kept her same pace, but her eyes were looking back the whole time. The large shape neared the idling vehicle, in no rush despite the rain, and he appeared to be carrying something in his right hand. Renee couldn't tell what it was from her increasing distance from the pair, but it looked heavy, swinging low in his hand.

The lights of the car got dimmer and dimmer the farther she drove, as did the shapes, and she watched in the rearview mirror until they disappeared completely.


	2. Dead Memories

**Hey guyssss I have another story I've been working on for a while now. In my head for a while, but just recently put on paper and given a plot, it's an idea I've been tossing around for a while! I fraggin love Tommy Hewitt, so this needed to happen XD I hope you guys enjoy it! This is basically a alternate version of tcm where it's present day and the little town they live in in Travis County is thriving. Enjoy!**

 **Listening to "Dead Memories" by Slipknot**

Renee had grown up in Travis County in the dust of Texas. It was the very epitome of _down South_ ; hot, dry, flat ground, spanning for miles. The kind of place that worshipped the rain when it finally did come, however few and far between rainy days could be. She had known the Hewitts her whole life, but had only heard the rumors that surrounded their existence when she got to the age of ten. _Freaks_ , people called them, _There's just something not right about them._ Renee had never noticed anything wrong with them. Her grandmother on her father's side had been very close friends with Luda Mae Hewitt, the matriarch of the family. There were four of them living in an enormous old farmhouse on a huge plantation miles from any other home. There was Luda Mae, whom Renee had grown up calling MaeMae. An older woman, short but tougher than most men, with a sweet inflection but a sharp temper. Luda Mae didn't take shit from anyone, especially not those who tried to badmouth her family. There was her brother, Charlie Hewitt, an army vet with tattoos on his forearms and piercing blue eyes that could see straight through someone's soul. Renee didn't remember at what point he had taken to wearing the Sheriff uniform, or driving the patrol car, but people had talked even more after that. All she knew was that she'd been calling him Uncle Hoyt as long as she could remember. She didn't think that was part of his actual name, but it was what he liked to be called. There was Old Monty Hewitt, whom everyone called Uncle Monty. He was the oldest, and brother to the mother of Luda Mae and Charlie. He was a thin, wiry man with glasses, and almost always had an old baseball cap on his head. He mostly kept to himself, preferring solitude more than anything else. Apparently folks in town liked to say he was the most normal out of the bunch - which wasn't saying much.

And then there was Tommy.

Thomas Brown Hewitt, the biggest man Renee had ever seen, but the person who's presence and memory by far outweighed the actual _sight_ of him more than anyone she'd ever known. Standing at 6'5 and weighing about three hundred pounds, he was more afraid of her than she could ever be of him. He always had been. To anyone who hadn't known him or his history, it would be odd to see such a man so afraid of anyone - especially a young woman. The Hewitts had taken him in when Luda Mae had found him outside of the local slaughterhouse in a dumpster when he was a newborn. When she'd found him, he'd been born with deformation on his face that, doctors had advised them, would only get worse over the years. This had not only caused discomfort for him growing up, but it had been a source of great torment for him by other people. Luda Mae had stopped sending him to school before he'd gotten past sixth grade because of how horrible it had been for him.

Renee had always had a soft spot for him, though she could count on two hands the amount of times she'd ever actually seen him. It didn't necessarily bother her per say, although part of her had always wondered what she had ever done to make him so uncomfortable. Luda Mae and Hoyt had always told her that it wasn't her. She was young, attractive, nice, kind-hearted; Tommy just didn't know how to handle her.

If she really thought about it, she guessed it did bother her more than she liked to think it did.

Every time she'd seen him was like an imprint on her memory; it had bordered on obsession when she'd been a younger, hormonal teenager. Not like she'd _fantasized_ about him like some sort of romance character, or anything... But more so she'd just always wondered what it would be like to befriend him. And what would happen from there. She never pushed him; she knew how fragile his mental state was. She didn't want to make him fear her forever. But she wanted him to know that she could help him; that they could work through their issues together. Renee knew she would now need someone who could understand pain now more than ever.

The rain was beginning to let up as she pulled into the little restaurant that her friends were waiting for her at. They tried to gather here at least once a month, just to catch up. The small group had graduated from high school in the same class, and they'd remained friends for many, many years now. Certain situations in their post high school lives had caused gaps in time from when they'd seen each other. Renee wasn't as close with everyone as she had been before; partly by choice, which she felt horrible for admitting. Everyone had different views now, different ways of thinking. Whenever Renee tried to bring up the fact that they all weren't as close anymore (shooting herself in the foot, she knew), they kind of tried to play it off like she was just being silly. Yes, they were still her friends, but she felt like no one knew her anymore. She felt like she didn't know herself sometimes.

Renee turned off her little car with her right hand, pulling up her hood with her left. She deduced she would try to salvage what dry hair she had left, after the downpour just a few minutes ago. _Thank the Lord for waterproof mascara_! Her hoodie, once dark grey with thin black stripes, was now completely black due to being soaking wet. She normally had more than one in the backseat of her car, but due to unforeseen circumstances, she'd only been able to fit one in her suitcase in a short amount of time.

Keys in hand, she tried very hard to look cheerful as she exited the vehicle into the muggy, rainy air. Her mood had nothing to do with the weather. She'd felt like this for a while. She thought maybe if she could act better than she felt, she would eventually feel how she acted. That's what those self help books had told her: fake it till you make it.

She slapped a smile on her face, knowing that her friends in there wouldn't be able to tell if it was fake or not. She tried to miss as many puddles as she could, walking through the parking lot to get to the building. Her flip flops, once light pink, were now spotted with brown mud and gravel. Earlier, she'd considered wearing her white shorts. Now she was glad she hadn't; the whole world didn't need to know what color her underwear was. She had regular dark blue jean shorts on, and a light pink t-shirt under her sweatshirt (aka, her favorite color). Her legs were completely soaked from the downpour, despite the air she'd had on circulating through her car. She didn't mind; the rain had never bothered her. Granted, the soaked clothes were a little uncomfortable, and the time spent straightening her hair had been for nothing, but oh well. At this point, she was happy she had actually put effort into how she looked. It was a nice change from her few weeks of not giving a shit about anything, especially her appearance.

Renee pushed the door open to the diner, the bells at the top jingling to signify the entrance of a customer. The ac hit her full blast the moment she walked in, and she was very happy for her sweatshirt, however damp it may have been. Pulling back her hood, her eyes searched the tables until she found the familiar faces of her old friends. Kim looked up and noticed her at the same time, and immediately beckoned wildly at her with her trademark enthusiasm. Renee normally shared that energy; she was a happy girl, under usual circumstances.

With a punch of despair to her gut, she realized all she could do was dwell on her situation. For a moment, she felt more alone than she ever had, even in this diner full of people. Carved out, completely hollow. Would she ever be that same, happy girl she once was? She wanted to cry. She wanted to die right then and there; to be spared any more pain-

"Hey babe!" Kim's squeal woke her out of her reverie, and she was sucked back into the moment. An automatic smile spread across Renee's face, though it took a moment for her mind to catch up with the feeling. Sitting with Kim at the table were two of their other friends; DJ and Tony.

"'Sup, Sugar Tits," Tony greeted, and the rest of them burst out laughing. Customers at nearby tables turned to look at them from the noise. Renee rolled her eyes. They'd bestowed that lovely nickname upon her because of her huge boobs. Renee had a pretty much average, curvy body; not thin but not heavy. Not tall, but not short. Dark brown hair she streaked with black dye, hazel eyes, full lips. Very attractive; the kind that you noticed right off the bat, though that didn't matter to her much at all, nor did she think there was anything remarkable about it. Her _boobs_ however were a different story. Head turning - the kind that one abandons eye contact for because they just can't help themselves, guys and girls alike. Renee had never been particularly fond of the nickname, but everyone else thought it was hilarious. Tony had come up with it because he was a pervert.

"Hardy _har har_." she retorted, pulling out the empty chair next to DJ, "Great seeing y'all too."

"Still coming down out there, I see!" Kim gestured at Renee's wet hair and clothes, "All that from the walk through the parking lot? You look like you jumped in the pond with all your clothes on!"

"Naah," Renee put her elbows on the table, looking at the menu down between them, "I was out for a walk - barely made it back to Rusty before the sky opened up on me." _Rusty_ was the name of her beloved little car, though as of yet there was no rust on it to speak of.

"It's all good; you look great wet." Tony said with a wink. There was suddenly an uncomfortable vibe that settled around the table, heavily punctuated by Kim and DJ giving Tony _the look_. Kim turned her head to glance at Renee with sympathy, but she had ducked her head so she wouldn't have to see most of it. Aside from the nickname 'Sugar Tits', which they'd called her since middle school, any other sexual reference towards her right now was in poor taste. Sometimes, Tony just didn't think.

Thankfully, the waitress came by then to take their orders, so there was minimal awkwardness. When she left to get their drinks, Kim turned to Renee with a grin, "So, have you found any places yet?" She was referring to places to live. Something Renee had been avidly searching for in the past month.

"Um, I've looked at a few," Renee replied, nodding, "Nothing too promising right now. A lot out of my price range, since, ya know, I'm unemployed."

"My dad says the coffee shop is looking for early morning people," DJ said, "He'd put in a good word for you."

"That would literally save my life," Renee answered, feeling a spark of hope, "I'll take anything."

"I'll tell him - they'll be glad for the help," Always practical, DJ pulled a pen out of his pocket and wrote a phone number down on one of the napkins in front of him. "Here's his cell, call him whenever."

Taking the napkin from him, Renee sighed in relief, "You're a lifesaver, thank you Dee."

"Anytime."

"How's Mark?" Kim asked with a knowing look. Another sigh from Renee, this one definitely not relieved. A laugh went around the table, the awkwardness from before gone. Mark was Renee's estranged cousin from her father's side, and he was also her temporary roommate. She'd shown up on his doorstep a few weeks ago, one roller suitcase in hand with a newly broken windshield on her car parked behind her. She'd barely heard herself ask him if he had room for her for a little while, and God bless him, as annoying as he could be, he'd taken her in with no questions asked. Almost a month later, he still didn't know exactly why she was staying with him and not at home with her father, and she didn't plan on telling him. She gave him as much money as she could per week, out of the little she had saved, and she figured that sufficed enough so that she wouldn't have to explain herself. Once she found another job, she would be able to pay him more, as well as get him something to show her gratitude. For now, she played the waiting game, sparsely using her savings and hunting for jobs/places to live.

The waitress came back with their drinks, and told them all their food would be out shortly. Renee snorted at the enormous mug of foamy beer that had been placed in front of Tony, "You wanna forget the past five years or ya wanna put yourself into a coma?"

"Neither," Tony said with a grin, "I've become sort of a marathon drinker. I'll be the champ in all the bars before y'all know it."

"Wow," Kim fake yawned, putting a hand over her over exaggerated yawning face. At the same time, Renee quipped, "Your mama must be so proud."

"Just wait, I'll be famous one day!" Tony continued, and he actually sounded serious.

Jokes and laughter took over the table, even after their food was brought out. Renee was definitely glad she came, and continued trying her hardest to smother back the ache that had been present in her chest for a month now.


	3. Save Me

**Listening to "Save Me" by My Darkest Days**

"God _dammit!"_ Renee cursed to anyone that could hear her; any Saint and force of nature that was listening.

"Nae!" Kim called from DJ's car across the little parking lot, "Dee's got cables back at his house, don't worry about it!" But she as worrying about it. On top of everything else, now her car wouldn't start. Figures the battery would give out now, on top of all this other hell that was coming down on her. _Don't cry , don't cry_. Thankful that her friends couldn't see her tears through the rain, she was actually glad it was still coming down out there. The storm itself had ceased; now it was just heavy rain.

Slamming the hood down, Renee hit the automatic look on her keychain and jogged over to where DJ's Jeep was parked. At least the rain was mingling with the salty liquid coming from her eyes. DJ and Kim sat up front while Tony and Renee were in the back, and they pulled away from the brightly lit parking lot.

"You sure you don't mind, Dee?" Renee asked, pretending the tears on her face were just the rain. Not like anyone could see them in the dark of the car. Not like Tony, who was smashed after three of those beers, was even in a state where he cared. Her relationship with him had always been weird, though. There would be nights where he texted her pretty late, telling her he was alone and horny. Flirting hardcore with her. When she herself had been lonely, she admitted to flirting back, but, she had never felt right about his offer. If he couldn't bear to be sympathetic and care in a moment like this, when she needed her friends, then why did he deserve her body? Maybe she was just too oversensitive; she thought too much about these things, but she couldn't help but feel that if he was right for her, then he would care all the time, and not just when he felt like it.

"Not at all, right down the road, we'll grab the cables and-"  
 _"WOOOOOOOOO!"_ Came a shrill from right next to Renee. Tony had rolled the window down and leaned halfway out. He was shouting like a loon, much to the annoyance of everyone in the car.

"Tony, _really_?" Kim commented.

"C'mon man," from DJ, "Just get your dumbass neck back in the car."

" _I'M THE FUCKING KIIIIIIING_!"

"Tony, shut the _fuck_ up," Renee pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers. She wanted so badly to push him out the window, if only he would shut up. Just as she looked up, she saw movement in the road ahead, the lights from the car catching on a figure walking. Renee felt her body give a start when she realized it was Tommy Hewitt.

"Whoa dude," DJ startled, talking to himself as they whizzed by him walking on the opposite side of the road, going the other direction. "Little wet to be out for a walk."

"Dee, stop the car," Renee said without thinking anything through. "Hold up."

"What?" He gently stepped on the brakes even as he questioned her.

"Nae, what're you doing?" Kim asked as Renee unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Why are we stoppin'?" Tony slurred, pulling himself back into the car. They all ignored him.

"That's Tommy," Renee answered Kim, opening her door and pulling up her hood. "Hold on just one second, guys."

"Tommy _Hewitt_?" Kim squealed as Renee jumped out into the heavy rain.

"I just wanna make sure he's okay, I'll be right back." Renee called, closing the door against the weather. She turned to the hulking figure walking alone in the rain, raising her hands to cup them around her mouth, "Tommy!" He stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of his name. Sudden realization hit her; he was going to have to interact with her, there was no way around it. The thought made her take a few steps towards him, her feet moving before her brain had a chance to stop them. "Tommy," she spoke again, making sure he could hear her over the rain. All thoughts of staying dry were behind her – she was completely caught up in the moment. He did not turn to acknowledge her, but he didn't run either.

"It's me, Renee. NaeNae?" Would he know her by her name? She hoped so; he'd known her practically her whole life, though he'd barely ever been in the same room with her.  
When he still didn't move, she tried a different tactic, "Are you okay?" A moment went by, and then he finally did turn; first his head, then his massive shoulders, then his feet. And he was facing her, looking right at her. It took every ounce of composure she had to remain still – to not react suddenly. Almost like dealing with a wild animal. The heavy rain seemed to not phase him as he looked at her warily. There was some worry in his eyes, but along with that, there was definite recognition. He knew who she was. She felt an immediate sense of relief wash over her, much like the rain coming from the sky. She smiled at him, a genuine smile that felt so good not to force.

A voice from behind her called out to her, " _Nae! You alright_?" came DJ's voice. Turning her head so they could hear her voice, but keeping her eyes on Tommy, Renee called back to them.

"I'm fine!" She debated what to do at this moment: should she ask him if he needed a ride? Would he fit in the car?

" _Nae_!" Came Kim's voice from behind her once more, "C'mon!" Something stopped her from wanting to go back. It was the calm that she felt now; it was the look in his eyes that he knew her; it was the smile she didn't have to fake. It was a combination of all. She knew she couldn't get back in the car.

She raised her palms out to him in a placating manner, taking a few steps back, "Just wait here, okay?" She prayed the spell wouldn't be broken; she was afraid to take her eyes off of him, like he would disappear should she look away. "Just wait one second." One last look and she did turn away, jogging back to the car. She opened the back door and leaned in, practically vibrating, "Guys, you go on ahead, I can't leave him out here like this."

DJ and Kim shared a look, and Tony turned to stare out the back window at the man down the road. "Nae," Kim began, but didn't finish, instead closing her mouth.

"He's okay, I promise," Renee appreciated their concern, but also recognized a small, bitter part of herself that felt it was deeply misplaced. "I'm just gonna take him home, I don't know what he's doing out here alone." She anxiously glanced back at the spot where she' left him, and was reassured to see him still standing in the same spot, staring in the direction of the vehicle. She turned back to her friends in the car, "I'll see you guys later."

DJ and Kim shared a look once more before facing her again, "Alright…" Kim said, looking like she wanted to say more, but nothing ever came. Renee gave them all a wave, feeling like she was sealing her fate in an odd way, and closed the door. She jogged back over to Tommy, in the same spot she'd left him, and the car waited a beat before driving away into the rain.

Tommy watched it go as she walked up to him once more, and when it must have gone out of sight, he turned his head down, eyes flickering briefly over hers before settling on the ground to her left. She frowned inwardly; the spell had been broken after all. But at least he was still right here in front of her; he hadn't tried to run away yet.

"Where you headed?" she asked him, knowing she probably should have phrased it as a yes or no question – Tommy had never spoken a word in the time she'd known him. Luda Mae had told her that he'd never been one for talking; he may have uttered a few words when he was very young, but after the age of 5, nothing.

Unsurprisingly, he didn't answer. He did, however, raise his right arm ever so slightly so that he could point somewhere behind himself. Renee new the road they were on – the Hewitt house was further down the road, they had passed it when they'd gone out of town just a few moments ago. Renee wondered what he'd been doing out here in the rain in the first place, but he'd probably been on his way home. Thinking about that now, she felt kind of silly for now realizing that sooner. He probably thought she was a moron. Embarrassment aside, she was out here herself without a ride (by choice), it was getting darker by the minute, and the rain was still coming down. Taking a breath, she asked him, "You headed home?" Still not looking at her, he gave a nod. Standing there with the rain beating down on him, eyes downcast, she felt her heart squeeze in pity. Taking half a step closer, she asked him, "You want company?"

Now he did look at her, eyes flickering between hers and the ground, back and forth. Briefly, she wondered what color his eye were. She'd never been able to tell; they were very dark, that was all she could see.

He didn't acknowledge her question other than making eye contact with her, and she wasn't quite sure how to take that. It could've meant anything. When he turned and started walking away, she felt her heart drop. When he stopped walking and turned to see if she was following him, her heart came back to life. She padded after him, flip flops making _thwack thwack thwack_ noises on the wet pavement.

The silence as they walked was a bit uncomfortable, but at the same time it was kind of nice. Renee didn't feel like she was pressured to speak to him because she knew he wouldn't speak back. She didn't feel judged because he didn't really know her, didn't know what she'd been through. He wouldn't say he believed her and think something else entirely. He wouldn't think she was a whore who asked for it. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, at the mask that covered his face, she thought of the misfortunes that the world bore. No, the misfortunes that other humans _caused_. Who had the right? Who gave someone the right to leave their newborn baby in a dumpster? It was a scary place, sometimes. Renee knew, with a great sense of relief, that she was not alone in her knowledge of that. The person standing next to her shared in the tragedy that could befall on one at the worst of times.

His hair that normally stuck out wildly in all directions was not quite flattened to his head, but was definitely soaked. For a brief moment, Renee wished she could somehow discreetly pull out her pocket mirror to see what her own hair looked like. He waterproof makeup was standing the test of time if none of it had run down her face yet.  
"What were you doing out here?" Again, a question that would never receive an answer. "I mean, were you just on a walk?" She turned her head to look up at him as he nodded. Even at her 5'6, he towered over her. She always was in awe of the sheer size of him, whenever she did see him.

She nodded back at him, replying, "Yeah, I do that too, helps me clear my head." She noticed him incline his head to look at her again, and this time when she made eye contact with him he didn't hang his head in shame. He continued to look at her curiously. She gave him another smile. "I like the rain - do you?" Tommy looked back towards the road ahead, only hanging that masked face a little this time before nodding. He did, however look at her out of the corner of his eye while he did. _Progress._

Just then, smiling stupidly, she slipped while walking. She flailed her arms letting out a very girly _WOOO!_ before catching herself. During her near fall, Tommy had quick as lightning reached out to try and catch her, but upon noticing her keeping her footing, drew his hand back and shrunk into himself once again. Renee felt her face heat once more, but at the same time she let out a laugh. The situation was so ironic; here she was, finally with him, finally seeing him in the flesh, and she made an ass out of herself more than once.

"Sorry," she said to him, a bashful smile on her face, "I'm such a klutz." Reaching down, she pulled off her flip flops and held them by the straps in her left hand. Noting how he still seemed uncomfortable, she looked him in the eye with her smile and said, "Thanks for trying to help me though - you're pretty fast."

The compliment didn't seem to register at first, but when it did he raised his head slowly, surprised. Her heart squeezed in pity once more. She knew the Hewitt's were good to him; knew they never made him feel like a freak. But he was probably not used to compliments from people outside his family.

She inclined her head towards the road before them, getting darker and rainier by the minute. "You ready?" she asked him, barefoot, flip flops in hand. She felt more like herself than she had in weeks. When she began walking down the rain soaked highway again, he followed. She slowed so he could walk beside her, and they continued on.

They reached the front driveway of the Hewitt house about ten minutes later. Renee made to leave and continue her way down the road, but Tommy stopped her with a look of confusion. Renee had forgotten all about her car that wouldn't start until just a few minutes ago. Rusty was still sitting in the diner lot where she'd left him.

"I gotta go get my car," she explained to Tommy, who didn't visibly react to her words, "It won't start - battery's dead." He then pointed to the rapidly darkening sky, the rain still pouring down, before looking pointedly at her wet clothes. Renee shrugged, "I'm fine, just a little rain never hurt anybody." She gave him a small wave and a smile, not wanting to leave but not wanting to overwhelm him. She could sleep in her car for the night; maybe someone could give her a jump in the morning. She got the shock of her life when he reached out and grabbed her arm, shaking his head and pointing at the large old farmhouse down the driveway. Renee was so stunned, she couldn't even argue the point; she could only nod stupidly and utter, "Okay." Satisfied, Tommy released her arm from his surprisingly gentle grip, and began walking down the muddy drive. Renee followed, trying to stay out of puddles along the way; she knew MaeMae liked to keep a clean house.

They were at the front door in no time, climbing up the wooden steps leading to the massive porch. Tommy opened the door for her; she had to admit she was a little surprised about that. His mama had taught him well. Renee attempted to wipe as much of the mud off of her feet as she could on the welcome mat, and she was met with a gentle pressure on the small of her back that sent a _zap_ through her veins. She about died; he'd touched her _twice_ in one night, in the timespan of less than fifteen minutes. She'd never before felt his hands on her... When she thought about it like that, it made her face grow hot.

She turned and looked back at him, immediately having to tilt her head back so that she was looking up at him. God, he was so big. Her face got even hotter at the close proximity. _This is Tommy, idiot. You grew up knowing his family. Calm your hormones._

Tommy wouldn't look her in the eye, but made a shrug motion and pointed to the inside of the house. She gathered that meant that it wasn't a big deal if she wasn't squeaky clean. Still, she didn't want to make a mess in a place that wasn't hers, so she made sure she had gotten off as much as she could before stepping inside the room. As Tommy closed the door behind them, Renee realized with horror that her soaking wet clothes would be dripping water all over the wood floor. Tommy was just as soaked as she was, but he didn't seem nearly as worried as she was.

"Thomas? That you?" came a female voice from the kitchen area. It got closer, the floor creaking with movement, "You best gimme your clothes, looks like it's comin' down pretty hard out th-" Luda Mae entered the room from the side door, and balked upon the sight of Renee standing next to her son. "Oh mah _Lord_ , baby girl, _com'ere!"_ Renee was immediately met by the warm embrace of the older woman, and she curled into her gratefully. She hadn't been hugged like that in a while.

"Mae, I'm all wet," she protested weakly, though she was squeezing the other woman to her.

"Oh, hush now," Mae's voice was muffled by Renee's shoulder and her hair, "I ain't seen ya in forever and I've missed ya somethin' awful. Lemme look at you." Luda Mae pulled back to look at Renee, hands on the younger woman's shoulders. " _Mah God_ , more beautiful every time I see ya. Got a little bit o' your mama and your daddy in ya."

Renee felt the tears bubble up, her throat aching painfully with the effort of trying to hold them back. She finally felt safe, for the first time in what felt like forever. Tommy's presence at her back, Mae's at her front; she felt like it was finally time to heal. She felt _hope_.

The tears came then without warning, and no amount of water on her face was going to hide them this time.

"Honey," Luda Mae's blue eyes held deep concern, "Are you alright?" Afraid her voice would break should she answer; that she would start sobbing, Renee couldn't answer. She only shook her head side to side. _No. I'm not._

"Oh baby, _com'ere_." Mae pulled her into another warm embrace, and Renee's shoulders shook as she finally let go.

"Mama?" Came a familiar southern drawl from a room nearby. "Who ya talkin' to out there?" The voice neared as well as more footsteps, and Charlie Hewitt entered from the left side door. "Little NaeNae?" he asked, incredulously, "What happened?"

"I don't know," Luda Mae murmured, looking at her brother with worried eyes, "She came in with Tommy."

"Son, where'd ya find her?" Charlie asked, and Renee assumed Tommy was doing his normal miming. She heard a grunt from behind her, and knew that was him. "On the road? Was she driving?"

Renee tried to speak up, to tell them how she'd come across him, but all that came out of her mouth was a low moan.

"She hurt?" Charlie asked, concern lacing his own voice, "An accident?"

"I don't know, Hoyt," Luda Mae responded again, "Baby, can ya tell us what happened?"

Unable to say anything, Renee nodded.

"Come on, let's go sit down," Luda Mae kept a tight hold on the upset young woman. "Tommy, grab a blanket, would ya?"

 **Hi guys, finally chap 3 is up! This story has been a bit hard to write just because i'm basing events in it off of things that have happened to me- makes for more realism and also exposes the true horror one faces when they don't know where to turn. Try to find help where you can 3 And i'm always here as well**  
 **I hope you all enjoy 3**


	4. Cold (But I'm Still Here)

**Listening to "Cold (But I'm Still Here)" by Evans Blue**

Renee told them everything. Everything that had happened within the past month. The wrongs she had experienced at the hands of others. _False saviors._ People who were supposed to protect her... Instead they were the ones who had destroyed her.

Luda Mae, Charlie, and Tommy all sat around her wide-eyed, listening while she tearfully told her story, taking turns handing her tissues. Uncle Monty was nowhere to be seen, and right now she wasn't in the frame of mind to ask where he was. Even Tommy was patiently sitting there. She noticed he would only look at her when she wasn't looking at him, but the fact that he was even in the same room as her was definite progress.

"Honey," Luda Mae asked patiently; she held Renee's free hand between both of hers. "Did you call the police?"

Sniffling, Renee nodded, "I went to the hospital after it happened. The police were there. They took the evidence, I was set up with a lawyer," She wiped her eyes, "They told me even with the evidence, the likeliness of me winning the case..." She folded the tissue with her one hand, "There were no witnesses. He has no record; not even a parking ticket. It doesn't look good for me; college drop out, low income..." The tears started up once again. "They're gonna think I did this. The courts won't believe me."

Both Luda Mae and Charlie knew that this would be the most likely outcome, as horrible as it was. The way the justice system worked, sometimes the victims walked away with even more scars than they went forward with. They knew well how these things went. They'd dealt with similarly frustrating run-ins with the law when it came to Tommy, though not with the same situation as the one Renee was going through.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Charlie asked. He knew what he wanted to do; what all of them wanted to do, but that would have to wait. Just a little bit longer.

More tears welled up in her eyes, "I don't know." She wiped at her face, sniffling. "Everything has gone to shit now, it just seems like this was the start of it all. "

"What do you mean, dear?" Luda Mae squeezed her hand, trying to understand.

"..." Renee tried to say it, but had to force down the lump in her throat before she could speak. " _My dad kicked me out_."

" _What_?!" The exclamation came from both Charlie and Luda Mae, and out of the corner of her eye Renee could see Tommy's equally shocked eyes staring at her from underneath the mask. Renee nodded in reply; that was all she could do.

"Now why in God's name would he do that?" Luda Mae asked, unable to mask her surprise.

Renee couldn't look any of them in the eye - the fact that what she was about to say had actually happened was too horrible to bear, especially her own father telling her this.  
"He thought it was my fault," She tried to keep her voice level, focusing her eyes on the floor, "He called me a slut, told me I was asking for it..."

" _Why I oughta_ -"

"Hoyt," Luda Mae shot him a look to remain silent for now, and surprisingly, he complied. Mae turned back to the younger woman, squeezing her hand tight. "You know that ain't true, don't you? That's the most _awful_ thing one can say to someone in your situation." The way she said that, Renee wondered if Luda Mae herself had been through something similar. "What happened next?"

"He picked up a bottle of moscato as I was runnin' to my car..." A fresh flood of tears once again came forth from her eyes, "He threw it at me, put a crack in my windshield. My daddy told me if anyone ever did somethin' like that to me, he'd kill them himself," She couldn't hold back the sob this time. Her own father; what had she done to make everyone abandon her? "What did I do?" she wailed, covering her face with her free hand. She was too carved out on the inside to feel embarrassed that she was crying in front of everyone; it hurt her very soul, "What did I do to make everyone wanna hurt me?"

Renee felt a hand under her chin, a cool, aged hand, and raised her hand at the gentle pressure. Snot coursed down her face, tears inking down her cheeks, probably streaking black mascara and eyeliner down her skin, but the hand did not stray. Luda Mae looking into Renee's eyes, into her soul, and that was exactly where Renee could feel them when she spoke her next words. "Now you listen to me, baby girl: There is _no way_ on _God's good earth_ that _any_ of this is your fault." She gave a nod to emphasize her words, and everyone else in the room was silent listening to her. The woman had that kind of power, compelling everyone to listen when she spoke. "You did _nothin'_ to deserve this, absolutely _nothin_ '. Sometimes the most horrible things happen to good people, and neither you or I will ever know why. But honey, just know that you have not been abandoned. This was a sign, a cleansing of something bad from yo life, ya hear? If this was the kind of person yo boss was, and if this was the kind of person yo daddy was, then it's better that you find out now than years from now. Understand me? Your faith is being tested, as is your strength, but you _will_ pull through. And you've got me to help you. All of us." She gestured to Hoyt and Tommy, the whole room. "We all love you, and we believe in you. We ain't _ever_ gon' leave you."

Renee gave a sob, her heart cracking, and practically dove forward into Luda Mae's warm embrace. The older woman hugged the younger woman tightly to her, stroking her hair and holding her steady. The days would be long, the nights even longer, but Luda Mae knew she would be alright. She meant what she said; the Hewitt's would never abandon her. Family was family, blood or not.

"Now, you stay as long as you want to, honey," Luda Mae spoke as she led the younger woman up the stairs to one of the spare bedrooms in the house. "And if ya need anything, ya know where my room is and where Uncle Hoyt's is, just give a holler."

After Renee had managed to calm herself down, with the help of the people around her, she'd remembered that she didn't have a way back to Mark's house other than walking. She'd completely forgotten about her car, left dead in the parking lot of the diner. This, however, had proved to be no problem for the Hewitt's. In the state that she was in, none of them felt comfortable letting her leave.

"You're always welcome here, hon," Luda Mae had said when Renee had tried to protest with excuses about 'not wanting to impose', and all that politeness. "You already know, we're always happy to have ya here."

"Y'even got your pick of the spare rooms upstairs!" Hoyt said with a smile, trying to cheer her up, "Even though we all know which one you're gonna pick; same one ya always do!" When Renee's father had gone away when she was younger on trips for work, or weekends away with friends, the Hewitt's had always been happy to have her stay with them. In fact, she'd swear they even missed her when she went back home. Whenever she'd stayed with them, her favorite spare bedroom was a rustic old tiny space, the smallest room in the house and the farthest down the hall from the stairs. The Hewitt house was enormous; a weathered old farm house that had close to eight bedrooms, only four of which were actually occupied. She loved it for its coziness, and of course, for the beautiful view of the highway down the road from the house. That window was the perfect viewpoint for watching sunsets, stars, the moon, storms. Renee had always been obsessed with things like that, so naturally the room with the biggest window was her pick.

She was being led there now, rounding the corner at the top of the stairs with Luda Mae leading the way. "I'll get ya some warm, dry clothes too, though they ain't gon' be your style at all," Luda Mae chuckled. "Ya know where the bathroom is, if ya wanna shower, soak in a bath, go for it. There's plenty of food in the fridge if ya get hungry, an' I'll make ya some tea before you go to bed, if ya want."

"That would be great," Renee squeezed the older woman's hand. She hadn't let her go since she'd walked in the house. "Thank you, MaeMae."

"Oh, no thanks needed, honey, you know you brighten up this place. I always love havin' my baby here, as do the boys," Mae opened up one of the small storage closets across from the main upstairs bathroom. "Got lots of clean towels in here, even got a few new ones since you were here last. Charlie mangles them; got no idea what he does to 'em and quite frankly, I'd rather it stay that way. Man's got a twisted mind." Renee chortled at that; their antics never failed to amuse her. Since she'd known them, Luda Mae and Uncle Hoyt had always fought like cats and dogs. Some of the things they argued over made her react with such hilarity, that to this day she chuckled when she thought of them.

"Nae!" Came a call from downstairs, "Don't drink that damn tea, I bought hot chocolate the other day! Tastes a hell of a lot better!"

Luda Mae looked at Renee and rolled her eyes, and Renee giggled. She was starting to feel a bit better now - less numb than she had before. She'd made them aware of her situation, and they were going to help her figure it out. Luda Mae must have been having the same thoughts as her, because while they were setting up the spare bedroom, she brought up Renee staying once more. "Honey, you're always welcome here - I think you should stay for a while. As long as you want. Charlie and Tommy and I were discussing it downstairs while you were freshenin' up in the ladies room, and we really think it's gon' be a good idea for you to stay. There's lots of space, got plenty of room for privacy if you want it, and if you don't, let's just say you'll never be lonely in this house."

Renee smiled at the older woman in thanks, considering her words. She felt at home here; she always had. She didn't want to impose, but at the same time, if she was able to get a job and work her own share, she wouldn't be. And she could be a quiet house-guest, nobody would ever know she was there. The only thing she worried about was... "What about Tommy?"

Luda Mae tilted her head up from looking down at the sheets she was fixing on the bed, "What about 'im?"

"He's..." Renee didn't quite know how to describe it, not wanting to shame the other woman's son but also wanting to let her know how she felt. "I don't think he likes me."

Luda Mae straightened from her hunched over position, her eyes confused as she looked at the younger woman, "Honey, why would you think that?"

Renee struggled to come up with a way to describe how Tommy acted around her; how he left rooms when she entered them, looked away when she looked at him, how she'd only ever seen him in full for a length of time this evening. She'd actually been surprised that he hadn't abandoned his place beside her the moment they'd stepped foot in the house; he'd stayed down in the living room with her, Luda Mae and Uncle Hoyt the entire time she'd been there. And Luda Mae had said Charlie, Tommy and I when she'd told Renee about their decision; she'd said it had been mutual. She explained all of this to Luda Mae, who didn't look bothered in the least. In fact, she smiled kindly at Renee when she had finished. "Oh, dear, he don't hate you. He's always been skittish; kind of funny, right? To describe a big man like that as _skittish_ ," She gave a chuckle, "But you know Tommy, he's always been his own breed entirely. After what everyone did to him growing up, all the torture he went through, I cain't blame him for not trusting outsiders. _You_ , however, are family, and he's always seen ya as family. He walked home with ya tonight, didn't he?" Renee nodded, trying to let the older woman's words convince her. "Exactly, he did that 'cuz he knew you was upset. He's got a real intuition, that boy. Just knows things. They all tried to tell me he was retarded, growing up. I never believed 'em - he got too much going on behind them eyes to be mentally incapable." Renee knew what she meant - Uncle Charlie had always said, as well, _Tommy ain't retarded, he's just misunderstood_. "He cares 'bout you like family, he loves ya like we do. Iffin he gets skittish, he's probably just uncomfortable. We all know he's sensitive about the way he looks, so seeing you makes him nervous."

"But why would seeing me make him nervous? He _knows_ me," Renee protested.

Luda Mae tilted her head with a devious smile, "Have ya looked in the mirror, honey?"

Now it was Renee's turn to roll her eyes, "Mae, come on,"

"I'm just speakin' the truth; you know me, child, I cain't tell a lie. My boy's always thought you were somethin' else cuz you've always been kind to him. Never judged him, never treated him like he was different."

"So," Renee tried to piece this together, unable to even believe what she was saying herself, "You think Tommy avoids me because he _likes_ me..."

"Oh, I don't think it sweetie, I know it." Mae let out a chuckle, looking as if she was lost in a memory for a moment, "I used to catch him peekin' 'round corners, starin' through holes in the walls when you stayed with us. He wouldn't move, just stare at ya. If you got up and started walking, he'd hightail it outta there like a cat in the rain!" She wiped at her eyes with laughter, and Renee couldn't help but laugh herself. _So, Tommy likes me... But does he really?_ She didn't want it to matter as much as it did, but it had always been important to her that Tommy felt comfortable around her. She didn't want him to hate her.

"I just," Renee let out a sigh, sitting down on the side of the bed, "I want him to like me. I want him to be comfortable around me; I can be a good friend to him. If he would just give me a chance, he would see it."

Luda Mae came around the bed and sat next the younger woman, slinging an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "He'll come around, just give him some time. Before ya know it, you won't be able to get rid of 'im." Renee smiled at the thought, leaning her head on Luda Mae's slight shoulder. "You wanna shower before ya come down and watch TV with us?"

Renee nodded, leaning back to look at the older woman, "Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you for everything, Mae."

"No thanks needed, honey. You're family, I love ya like a daughter." Luda Mae pulled the younger woman into an embrace before she rose from the bed, telling her to come downstairs when she was ready. Renee sat on the bed momentarily, staring at the wall. She was in a place full of people who loved her, full of people she loved. She leaned her head back to look at the ceiling; she finally was in a place where she felt welcome again. She felt her heart slow for the first time in a month, not getting that nausea in the pit of her stomach that came with an anxious, quick-paced heartbeat. _This is where it's at_ , she thought to herself, _This is where I'm meant to be, right now_.

With that thought in mind, she gathered up the shower supplies and clothes that Luda Mae had leant to her, and made her way towards the upstairs bathroom down the hall.

 **hey ya'lll movin right along! Here's chap 4 3 thank you all for your patience!**


	5. My Church

**Listening to 'My Church' by Maren Morris**

The sun was bright in the sky, and it was already hot and humid this early. At six am for it to be this hot, it meant for sure a scorcher was ahead.

This was Renee's fourth day at her new job, working the early morning shift at the coffee shop in the small town. It wasn't bad; not ideal, but not the worst thing by far, plus it was money.

It was the fourth day at work, that meant it was the fifth day since she'd started staying with the Hewitt's. Luda Mae wouldn't take any money for letting her stay there, and neither would anyone else when she tried to bribe them behind Mae Mae's back on multiple occasions. _You're family_ , they all told her, _cut that shit out_. Well, they all said that but Tommy, who just rolled his eyes and turned away from her. It made her feel appreciated, which she hadn't known the solace of in quite some time.

After she'd stayed that fateful night at the Hewitt house, things had gotten better for her mentally, and environmentally. The next morning after she'd slept in the guest bedroom she loved with the large window, Uncle Hoyt had driven her back to the diner to get her car started. To her immediate surprise, Tommy had gone with them for the car ride. While Hoyt had used the police cruiser to help jump start old Rusty, Tommy had waited in the back of the police cruiser. She could've laughed - he looked like he was sardined in as tightly as he could be, hunched over his knees like a little ( _big_ ) old man. After that, Hoyt had instructed her to lead them back to Mark's house, and he would help her with her stuff so they could take it back to their house. She'd almost cried again with happiness - they actually _wanted_ her to stay with them. She was wanted somewhere; she _belonged_ somewhere. When they'd arrived at Mark's house, his car was not there, so Renee hadn't wanted to have him come home and find out that her stuff (and herself) were not there without her telling him in person. And thanking him in person - she owed him far too much to leave like that. She told Hoyt and Tommy that most of her stuff was at her father's house. She'd been biding her time, trying to wait for a time when he wouldn't be there so she could collect her stuff. She didn't want him to cross her path _ever_ again - not after how horribly he'd treated her in a time when she'd needed him most.

She _had_ cried when Uncle Hoyt had told her that he and Tommy would go grab what she needed from there - he told her that was why Tommy had gone along, to help carry stuff. Tearfully, she'd agreed, finding some paper and a pen in Mark's kitchen and writing up a list of things she would majorly need.

After that point, she'd given them the list and when they'd driven off, she'd cleaned herself up and debated waiting for Mark or just driving back to the Hewitt house. In the end she just decided to drive back to the place she would now be staying - her present home.

Now she was starting up the coffee machines, making sure tables were clean, heating up the espresso maker. It was quiet at the moment - she hadn't yet cranked the country music station on the radio. She was reveling in this calm. In the monotony of her current living situation. She was _content_ \- had been since the first night she'd spent in the Hewitt house. There were certain things it would take a while to get used to, of course. It was a completely new environment, but a good change that improved her whole being. The Hewitt house was a bit farther out of town than her dad's house had been, but she was okay with the adjustments she had to make in regards to the drive. As long as her mind was settling, she could handle anything.

Her day, after finding out that Tommy and Uncle Hoyt hadn't even ended up running into her father upon getting her stuff, had just kept getting better. She'd received a call back from the coffee shop telling her she was hired on the spot. For now it would be under the table, but it was a hell of a lot better than nothing, plus it would be steady hours since they were hurting for someone to cover the morning shift.

She felt, with certainty, that things were going to be alright. It was a _damn_ good feeling.

Driving back to the Hewitt house, Renee played the radio loud and sang along as she sped down the highway. Her hair whipped in the wind, in her face, weaving in and out of her vision. This didn't phase her as she belted out the chorus to "My Church" by Maren Morris.

" _Can I get a Haaaaaaleluuuujah? Can I get an ayyy-mennn?"_ She beat a hand against the steering wheel as she cruised down the road. As she turned off onto the dirt road that the Hewitt's lived on, she saw a dark shape walking along the side a little ways ahead. The smile on her lips grew as she noticed the broad back and messy, spikey hair... not to mention the immense height one could see even from afar. Renee slowed the car down next to him, rolling the passenger window down so she could call out to him. Turning down the music, she leaned over so she could see his face through the open space, "Howdy stranger," she drawled playfully, winking at him. He tilted his head down bashfully at the ground, but she saw the corners of his lips pull up in a smile underneath the mask.

That was one of the many things she'd never really inquired about - the mask. Tommy had worm them ever since she could remember; since she'd first met their family. She didn't ask because she could guess why he did it. He'd always been self conscious of his deformity, of his condition. It didn't take a genius to know that that was the reason for his need to wear them. They'd gotten more... _grotesque_ as time had gone on. They'd started out as cloth wrappings on his face; that was how he had looked when she'd first seen him; like a mummy with just his face wrapped. All she'd been able to see of him was his eyes, and those eyes were forever burned into her mind for the rest of her days. Even as young as she'd been at the time, she had never forgotten that feeling. The masks getting more full faced had something to do with, she assumed, the deformity spreading - she had never seen his face without the mask, nor did she think she ever would. She'd only known that his skin condition was supposed to worsen the older he grew. She didn't mind - he was still Tommy. He was always just _Tommy_. Now the mask covered his whole face - looked kind of like a stitched up Halloween thing that he chose to hide his actual face with year round. Renee wasn't sure what material it was made of, but it looked thicker than the normal latex mask that the little kids ran around with. It was rather grotesque, but she'd gotten used to the sight of it since the first time she'd seen him with it on. That was who he was to her - that was what he looked like.

Renee shifted the car into park, noting how Tommy was still wary about going any closer to her car than a foot. She wished she knew how to make him unafraid. She wished she knew a way to make him realize that he could trust her. "Need a ride?" she asked, a tinge of hope behind her playful voice. He hesitated, and her heart began to drop once again. He always hesitated. She tried not to take it personally - she knew the reasons for why he did things he did. And apparently, he also did a lot of it because he had a 'crush' on her the size of the state of Texas.

 _Get in the car, please get in the car._ She tried mentally willing him, pleading with her heart that he would just do it. _Trust me. Dive in headfirst to whatever this is and trust me._ There was another moment of pause, during which her heart continued to fall. And then he put a hand on the door, fingers curling over the open window. Her heart beat furiously with barely contained joy. _Yes, yes, yes._ Tommy pulled open the door with a grunt, having to pull hard since the door was partially rusted shut (hence the name Ol' Rusty). She wondered how hard he would have to pull to rip the door right off the hinges. Probably not that hard. She stared at the arms that pulled the sleeves of his shirt taut as he settled in the car next to her. He grunted at the way his long legs were crumpled up in front of him, and reached down by his feet to crank the seat back as far as it would go. She tried very hard not to stare at his massive self - she knew if she did, he would become self conscious, and she couldn't risk him pulling away, falling back into himself. If she had to work on this all year, she was going to get him to be her friend. She was determined.

Once he was settled and glanced over at her, she realized she'd already broken her no staring rule and she'd been ogling him while he was getting comfortable. Turning back towards the road, face red, she put the car back into drive and continued on down the road. His presence made her giddy, and very self aware - she instantly came fully alive when she was around him.

"How was your day?" she asked him, not really thinking about what she would specifically say to him; she more so just wanted to communicate with him in some way. She wouldn't be getting more than a nod or a grunt of _yes_ or _no_ out of him, but maybe she could decipher something else from him.

To her amusement, and also pleasant surprise, she saw Tommy give a thumbs up. She smiled, nodding her head at him. "Good, good." Tommy pointed at her then, gesturing at her to do something. She wasn't sure what. Then it hit her: "How was _my_ day?" Tommy nodded, and she almost steered them off the road to crash into the field. She felt like a teenager whos crush said "hi" to her. "My day was great, thank you." That smile was not going to leave her face no matter what, it seemed. She was glad. She was ready for it to stay a while.

 **Hoiiii**  
 **Kind of a whole lot of nothing in this chapter, but I wanted to make it just a small update - the big stuff is coming up next ;) just a small way of showing how Renee's life has been affected in a good way - thank you all for continuing to read/comment/kudo/like it :D 3**


	6. Next Boyfriend

**Listening to 'Next Boyfriend' by Lauren Alaina**

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A few hours later that day, the sun was going down over the open plains of dusty Texas ground. Another beautiful ending to a great day. Renee felt at peace, sitting here in front of a fire, surrounded by her true family.

Uncle Hoyt checked his watch, gaping at what he saw. "Game starts in two minutes - I gotta go." Almost jumping out of his chair, he started to run towards the house, then paused turning back towards the occupants in front of the fire, "You all stayin' out here for a while?"

Renee nodded, scooting closer to the fire, "Yeah, I'm good out here."

Luda Mae nodded as well, "I'll hang out here too, just for a little while longer."

Hoyt's shoulders slumped at Mae's answer, "Mama, I can't make them stuffed potato skins like you can."

"Oh, for _Pete's sake_ Hoyt, can't you go one game without potato skins?"

Hoyt gave Luda Mae an incredulous look, "You can't do the _game_ without the _game snacks!"_

Renee giggled from her seat by the fire. Sometimes Hoyt was so juvenile, though he was a good thirty something years older than her.

Luda Mae rolled her eyes, and Uncle Monty called out from the open window in the living room _, "Hoyt! Game's startin' in t-minus thirty!"_

 _"Mama! Please!"_ Hoyt gave her a pleading, frantic look, scooting backwards towards the front door to the house.

Luda Mae grumbled, slowly rising from her chair, "Alright, alright-"

As soon as she relented, Hoyt made a mad dash for the door, throwing a " _Love you Mama!"_ over his shoulder. The door slammed behind him, and exclamations from both men were heard from inside as the sounds of a spring evening baseball game starting floated out the open window.

"I swear," Luda Mae shook her head, wisps of her silvering hair waving in the light breeze. She stretched her back, arms above her head, "That man can't make _toast_ without burning the house down. He'd never make it on his own - guess that's why I been stuck with him for my whole life." She winked at Renee, then turned to Tommy who sat in one of the chairs next to her. "You comin' in, son?"

To Renee's utter surprise, Tommy shook his head _no_. Also to her utter happiness.

Luda Mae, however, didn't look surprised. If anything, she looked like she was trying to hold back a smile. "You gon' stay out here with NaeNae?"

Tommy nodded rapidly, his eyes then lowering to the ground as if he was embarrassed by his own enthusiasm.

Luda Mae stood there for a moment longer, a wistful expression on her face, before she spoke, "Alright, I'll be in the kitchen if y'all need me." With that, she turned and walked into the house, shutting the door gently behind her.

It was quiet for a moment, but Renee didn't think it was one of those awkward silences that usually happened with someone you didn't know that well; she hoped Tommy didn't think it was an awkward silence either. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He had wound up in the chair next to her when they had all headed outside - another surprise to her. This was one of the few times she'd ever had the chance to actually interact with him, even though she'd known his family her whole life. Sure, she'd seen him before, briefly. She'd passed by him often since she'd been living with the Hewitt's; attempted to talk to him, be a friendly face. He was so damn shy... Not that she blamed him for being wary. He'd had more than enough mistreatment at the hands of others. Still, it had frustrated her greatly. She felt that if they became friends, he would realize how much they really had in common. She'd had a tough time with people too, in her own way.

A few nights ago, when she had found him walking home on the side of the road in the rain... When she had offered to accompany him and he hadn't protested. That was when something had changed. Maybe that had been the moment of clarification he'd needed to know that she wouldn't hurt him; that her intent was that of kindness and compassion. Since then, the few times she'd seen him in passing, he'd actually looked in her direction, made eye contact with her. His posture was still that of self consciousness, but him actually glancing her way was still a change.

Now, he sat gazing at the fire, so focused on it that she suspected he was trying to keep his gaze from wandering anywhere else... Wandering to _her?_

Renee tried to think of something to say. Not that he would answer her with words, but she didn't want the silence to fester and become awkward. She realized how concerned she was, yet again, of what he thought of her.

She reached for the bag of marshmallows on the chair Mae had been sitting on to her right, "You wanna 'nother s'more, Tommy?" She glanced over at him. He was staring at her, and as soon as her eyes met his, his own dropped to the ground. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, but she tried not to draw attention to the moment. She held the bag out to him, and he raised his eyes to see what she was doing. Slowly, he reached out and took it from her, eyes darting back and forth between hers and the bag - almost like he was worried she might snatch it away.

Her heart squeezed. He was so pitiful, at times. For someone who didn't know his situation like she and his family did, it was probably strange to see such a big man so afraid of people, and what they thought of him.

She tried not to stare at him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He was stunning, really. She didn't care that he wasn't _handsome_ ; that he wasn't _normal_. He was kind, strong, capable. Looks didn't matter when personality was so great.

Tommy completely bypassed the s'more concept, and just grabbed a handful of the marshmallows out of the bag, choosing to eat them that way instead.

She realized she had broken her rule and was staring, and looked away. _Man._

"Tommy?" She didn't know what she was going to say. This seemed to be a common thing she did lately, with him. Just say his name, get him to look at her, please, and then think of something to ask afterwards.

Mid chew, he popped his head up to look at her. He had huge, gorgeous eyes, and they were showcased by light of the fire. This was the first time she noticed that they were blue; she'd always thought they were brown because of how dark they were. Every time she'd tried to look in his eyes, he'd duck his head or look away.

She wanted him to know he didn't have to be afraid, but she didn't know how to say it.

He was still looking at her, waiting for her to speak. This was the longest they'd ever held eye contact, and she was just getting more flustered with each passing second.

Finally, she settled on the disastrously charming, "Um, thanks for... for sitting out here. With me." _Wow, kill 'em, girl._ Swallowing, she added, "It's really nice to finally be around you. To get to know you."

His mouth opened a bit, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

Renee glanced at the fire, "I always thought you hated me," She snorted out a laugh in spite of herself, and it wasn't unkind; just like she knew how silly she was for even saying any of this out loud to another person. "And it always bugged me, because even though I don't really know you that well, I've always liked you," She couldn't look at him while she voiced the admission, but she could still feel his stare on her. "And... I don't know," she sighed, "I always thought we kind of have a lot in common... When it comes to..." She didn't know how to say it without possibly upsetting him. Now she was really flustered, her face turning hot like the flames before them. She gave a nervous laugh, "I don't really know how to explain it-"

She stopped when he suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm, right over her pulse point that was pounding like a machine gun. She practically fell over in shock, looking up to meet his gaze. He was closer to her than he'd ever been - he wasn't on top of her, but at a little less than an arm's length from her. That was still the closest she'd ever been to him, and she didn't mind it at all.

Almost timidly, afraid of the answer, she spoke, "You don't _hate_ me, do you? I don't wanna be like that, but it would really make me... It would really suck if you did."

Tommy shook his head, keeping his eyes on hers. His beautiful eyes were full of emotion, and she could see that they were starting to well up.

In a very tiny voice, just to clarify, she asked him, "So... you _like_ me?"

He nodded adamantly, his eyes never leaving hers. Then, without further warning, he yanked her up out of her chair and into his arms for a tight hug.

Utterly shocked, the first thing she thought was that he was the strongest person she'd ever encountered - lifting her up like she was nothing, literally feet off the ground. She was crushed against his substantial chest, and she loved it. Heart thudding happily, she wrapped her arms around his waist, safe and warm cradled in his.

Renee now understood what people meant when they explained that they felt fireworks - this was every bit as beautiful as she'd ever heard. This was the moment of truth; every downcast eye, every turned head, every tentative interaction led up to this. She was falling hard for Tommy Hewitt.

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 **Hey y'allll be prepared for even more cheesy song choices along the wayyyy ;) I can't describe the cuteness, it's pure gold. I hope you guys enjoy! I'm working on like ten other fics right now, literally, so trying to balance everything accordingly! Thank y'all for your patience 3 3**


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